This week, Rose gives some helpful tips in setting boundaries with children.
Children need structure and to know clearly what is expected of them. Here are some helpful hints about how to keep the communication clear open and supportive whilst saying “no”. Limits are likely to create anger in the child but these hints can help them to learn to manage their feelings well and help keep the parents calm and in control.
(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)
- Don’t give unnecessary commands.
- Give one command at a time.
- Be realistic in your expectations and use age-appropriate commands.
- Use “do” commands.
- Make commands positive and polite.
- Don’t use “stop” commands.
- Give children ample opportunity to comply.
- Give warnings and helpful reminders.
- Don’t threaten children; use “when-then” commands.
- Give children options whenever possible.
- Make commands short and to the point.
- Support your partner’s commands.
- Praise compliance or provide consequences for noncompliance.
- Strike a balance between parent and child control.
- Encourage problem solving with children.
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This was written by Rose and you can contact her here.