The three secrets of resilient people

In a world which feels as though it is currently spinning off its axis. I’m finding TED talks a good tonic!

This is a great talk given by Dr Lucy Hone a resilience expert, she talks clearly from her education on the subject but also from her personal experience.

Woman with t-shirt and resilient logo

Helpful, Clear Information which we can all use

1. Resilient people, “know suffering is a part of life” and “shit happens” which is absolutely true for all of us. We have all to some extent experienced loss and challenge in our lives. Instagram is used as an example in that people are only seeing the shiny, filtered lives of others so our expectations of life can be skewed. So perhaps if we are growing up viewing life through this lens over time this is impacting on our ability to accept that grit or rather shit happens to us all!

2. “Resilient people are really good at focusing on the things they can change and finding a way to accept the things they can’t” I have read similar words in so many different places over the years, in books of wisdom, mind fullness literature, fridge magnets you name it! and it is so true, we can get so sucked down in our thinking using vital energy which if we are able to shift to looking at what we can change would make such a difference. Dr Lucy Hone also talks about how in our every day lives our threat focus and stress response have become dialled up. Resilient people are able to tune into the good, finding three things to be grateful for every day. Not always easy but these don’t have to be big things, and just being open and willing to look for three things is a good start.

3. “Is what you are doing helping or harming you?” This is such a simple question we can all ask ourselves and of course the big one – can we be kind to ourselves ? I often find myself exclaiming to friends and clients, ” be kind to yourself !” or asking how they can be their own best friend.

I recommend watching the whole talk, but if you are short on time, I have lifted “Philip the Sock’s ” helpful timing of the three strategies!

a) 7:10 – acceptance/acknowledgement of situation as part of life

b) 8:18 – selectional attention (focus on things you can change/ on positive things, e.g. name three things you are/were grateful for)

c) 12:20 – “is what you are doing helping or harming you?” (control over situation/ be kind to yourself/ according to speakers experience – most powerful/useful tool)